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David Keyes

Tomatometer-approved critic
Biography:

A love of films. A love of the written word. What better way to combine them? I started this little movie reviewing gig on the 'net back in 1998 when I was just 17. At the time, the idea wasn't exactly a developed one on my part (I never even fathomed the concept until it was suggested to me by a high school instructor), but once it began, it was as if I was physically incapable of stopping. For that year and the next, film criticism was life. On a personal level, it was also a visceral experience, something that I and I alone could do without having my work comprimised by some kind of looming superior (I guess school gives you that mentality naturally). For a time following the whole K-12 thing (and even a bit into college), I wanted this to be a career. Unfortunately, time and dedication, especially in isolation, tends to build walls around your ego -- thus, I was put off by the impending notion that I couldn't have complete control over my own material in a paid profession, so the idea went from being a career goal to a recreational hobby rather quickly. Thankfully, I wasn't as defensive about my other Journalistic talents, so I didn't give up on the vocation entirely. I currently freelance for publications whose primary audiences are those that thrive on information-gathering, and the prospect of objective and thorough reporting is an art in itself. But one doesn't write just for the sake of writing, either; it has to be something engaging on a personal level, otherwise your wasting your time. Though movie reviewing has taken a back-burner in recent years to other things, it has nonetheless lived on in some capacity -- and for the sake of staying up with the times, that simple old free Geocities site I opened in the summer of '98 was moved to its own fully-paid server in early 2004. Cinemaphile.org is the culmination of all that work, and I'm proud that I am able to keep up this little hobby in a way that doesn't seem easily disposable. I love the movies and I love writing about them, and I intend on keeping the hobby under my belt as long as people are still willing to hear what I have to say.

Favorites:

Ingmar Bergman's "Wild Strawberries" John Boorman's "Excalibur" Tim Burton's "Ed Wood" Joel Coen's "Fargo" Jonathan Demme's "Beloved" William Friedkin's "The Exorcist" Christophe Gans' "Brotherhood of the Wolf" Mary Harron's "American Psycho" Werner Herzog's "Aguirre: The Wrath of God" Alfred Hitchcock's "Strangers on a Train" Peter Jackson's "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining" Akira Kurosawa's "Throne of Blood" Meyno Meyjes' "Max" Bill Paxton's "Frailty" Roman Polanski's "Chinatown" Alex Proyas' "Dark City" Ridley Scott's "Alien" Quentin Tarrantino's "Pulp Fiction" The Wachowski Brothers' "The Matrix" Robert Wiene's "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari"

Critics' Group:
Location:

Troutdale, Oregon

Official Website:

http://www.cinemaphile.org

Reviews

Movies TV Shows
The Wraith (1986) 33% 2.5/4 EDIT “It does not achieve the same absurdist grandeur of, say, "Sky Bandits" or "Mannequin," which are essentially live action cartoons. But it means well.” – Cinemaphile.org Aug 3, 2020 Full Review Savage Streets (1984) 3/4 EDIT “Say what you will about over-the-top enthusiasm in movies like these, here is a woman who is comfortable chewing the scenery until she is licking her lips in satisfaction.” – Cinemaphile.org Aug 3, 2020 Full Review Eaten Alive (1976) 29% 3/4 EDIT “A film like this endures as entertainment because all the performances are pitched at that joyous trajectory of cartoonish excess.” – Cinemaphile.org Aug 3, 2020 Full Review Unfriended: Dark Web (2018) 60% 3.5/4 EDIT “If "Unfriended" showed this idea in a state of awkward infancy, then "Unfriended: Dark Web" allows it to mature into a proverbial, meticulous beast.” – Cinemaphile.org Aug 3, 2020 Full Review Host (2020) 98% 3/4 EDIT “Savage has breathed refreshing life into a sub-genre that has long been floundering for new inspirations.” – Cinemaphile.org Aug 3, 2020 Full Review Dirty Love (2005) 6% 0/4 EDIT “Each moment, more unfunny than the last, is a record of underachievers who are so far in over their head that they have lost the will to break the chains of their prison.” – Cinemaphile.org Apr 23, 2020 Full Review Hatchet (2006) 56% 3/4 EDIT “The movie is a triumphant reminder of the plausibility of physical showmanship.” – Cinemaphile.org Apr 23, 2020 Full Review Pompeii (2014) 27% 2.5/4 EDIT “Basically a competent action picture that retreads to the safety of its formulas, primarily because it doesn't have the desire, much less the thought, to pursue more challenging avenues.” – Cinemaphile.org Apr 23, 2020 Full Review Cats (2019) 19% 0.5/4 EDIT “A film that seeks to inspire our loathing for nearly every frame it sits on the screen, and that is before we even attempt to decipher the mediocrity that is the music or the nonexistence of the story.” – Cinemaphile.org Apr 23, 2020 Full Review The Lonely Lady (1983) 0% 0.5/4 EDIT “This may be the most shamelessly evasive drama ever written.” – Cinemaphile.org Apr 23, 2020 Full Review Summer of 84 (2018) 71% 3/4 EDIT “There were moments when I was roused by myriads of sly wit, suspicion and even shock, and others when I felt sad for kids who might have endured better by leaving the searches to others.” – Cinemaphile.org Apr 23, 2020 Full Review Parasite (2019) 99% 4/4 EDIT “A picture that audaciously devours the force of convention and transforms it into a feverish undercurrent, driving what can only be described as an engine through the odyssey of mayhem.” – Cinemaphile.org Apr 23, 2020 Full Review Marriage Story (2019) 95% 2/4 EDIT “Here are two likable actors swimming upstream in a current that wants to drown them in detestable melodrama, and for nearly every scene they occupy shared space, we find ourselves praying for psychological intervention.” – Cinemaphile.org Apr 23, 2020 Full Review Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire (2019) 14% 2.5/4 EDIT “In the final frames, after enduring what amounts to the bludgeoning of an entire idea, one can't help but wish the more thrilling original film was playing on screen instead.” – Cinemaphile.org Apr 23, 2020 Full Review The Burning (1981) 86% 3/4 EDIT “Instead of recycling the sort of artificial showmanship that usually informed most of the violence in the early horror franchises, the movie creates a convincing aesthetic.” – Cinemaphile.org Nov 9, 2019 Full Review The Condemned (2007) 16% 0/4 EDIT “One of the most deplorable movie-going experiences of my life.” – Cinemaphile.org Nov 9, 2019 Full Review Ad Astra (2019) 83% 3.5/4 EDIT “The movie is an audacious, agonizing, engrossing meditation on personal isolation.” – Cinemaphile.org Nov 9, 2019 Full Review It: Chapter Two (2019) 62% 3/4 EDIT “There are a great many moments and sequences scattered across "It Chapter Two." On the other hand, audiences might take issue with there being so many.” – Cinemaphile.org Nov 9, 2019 Full Review The Lighthouse (2019) 90% 3.5/4 EDIT “A total exercise in style, brought to glorious excess by showy performances and visual gimmicks right out of an ambitious nightmare.” – Cinemaphile.org Nov 9, 2019 Full Review Once Upon a Time... In Hollywood (2019) 86% 3.5/4 EDIT “The movie's greatest strength is in how it isolates precious moments among characters - some loving, others sad, many foretelling of darker realities.” – Cinemaphile.org Nov 9, 2019 Full Review Joker (2019) 68% 1.5/4 EDIT “If Arthur Fleck reflects the same cultural alienation that creates mass shooters and serial killers, the movie cuts away too often to establish a cogent argument.” – Cinemaphile.org Nov 9, 2019 Full Review Children of the Corn (1984) 36% 1/4 EDIT “This is not a story that was ever destined to work on film.” – Cinemaphile.org Nov 9, 2019 Full Review Tenderness of the Wolves (1973) 63% 2.5/4 EDIT “Part of what distances us from indulging the story's approach is our inability to see him as the madman painted by history books. His crimes are so simplified, even reduced.” – Cinemaphile.org Nov 9, 2019 Full Review Midsommar (2019) 83% 3/4 EDIT “As a stamina test, the movie is as exciting as it is startling.” – Cinemaphile.org Nov 9, 2019 Full Review Christine (1983) 72% 3/4 EDIT “One of the more effective screen treatments of the era, however corny or preposterous it may remain on paper.” – Cinemaphile.org Jul 15, 2019 Full Review
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